Sathyam Heroes: PART THREE

Sunday, October 4, 2009
Note: Read it only if you have read the first two parts of the Sathyam Heroes.

A policeman appears in front of our bike. Iyer doesn't stop. The front tyre is in between the policeman's legs :) and our beloved Iyer is bending his right hand inwards... trying to accelerate the vehicle to full speed... The policeman, totally disgusted, shows fast reflexes, does some stunt, and pulls the key of the vehicle!!!
Typical Bollywood style.

Hell with Rhonda Byrne's theory, hell with The Secret, hell with all the energies, hell with Meta-Physics. Life gets screwed when we least expect it to. That is the only secret!

Policeman 1: ******, ********, you punks.... you think you can drive as you want... you crazy idiots...

Iyer and Neo did not break any law. This was classic. Show at 1630. Caught by police at 16:11. And guys were counting on them for the tickets.

Iyer: What happened? What did we do?

Policaman: Shut up. Shut the **** up. One more word and you good-for-nothing fellows will be in more trouble than you think.

Neo: ID card....

Iyer: errr....

Neo: Wear your ID..

Policeman2: Nerves. Nerves you have got to run into a policeman.

Iyer: Sir, we thought he was trying to catch the other bike. We did notice the signal and it was yellow, not red!

Iyer was keeping the policemen busy. Neo, nicely, slipped the 1000 odd he had into one of the strange pockets of his baggy. 

Policaman1: (getting aggressive) So, you are speaking rules now... Why the hell were you accelerating then ! Have any answer!!!

Iyer: Sir!! What?

Neo: Hello...Mu2... man, we screwed a little... we got caught on the turn to the right to the way to Sathyam by two hippos... two fatheads... come as soon as possible...oh wait, reach the theatre. I think we'll settle it here...

Mu2: what !!! right to the way to the what! MAKE SENSE, will you ???

CLICK... CLICK... All hail Airtel !

Policeman2 and Policeman1 were busy ranting with Iyer... Neo joined him waving his college ID card.

Policeman1 : Where were you two going!

Neo: To a friend's house nearby.

Policeman2: You are students, aren't you? students these days, i tell you.....blah blah blah

Iyer and Neo:(in a chorus) We study at ANNA UNIVERSITY.

Being in a top college of India helps! It really does in Chennai. If not the IITs, Anna will do...

A short pause... Change of behaviour!!!

Policeman1: What do you think? What if you are students there? You think we'll let you go. You broke the rules... Mount Road... You understand.

Iyer: But we did not...

Policeman1: enough!

Policeman2 taunting... for money...

Time- 16:16

Policemen tried scaring Iyer and Neo with paperwork. They were already getting late for the movie!

Policeman: yeah... how much do u have!

Neo: 50

Iyer: 100

Neo was red as brick. He would have murdered Iyer there. Right there.

Policeman1: WHAT! 50, 100... what is this! don't you fool with me.

Iyer does the craziest thing ever. He opens his purse. The police thinks he has succeeded  in his act of terrorizing Iyer!  DUMEER!!!!!! There is nothing in the purse except a single 10 rupee note. Policeman1 was motionless. Shocked. Neo smiled. Policeman2 noticed. Now it was his turn !

Policaman2 : I'll file you. You people love playing games eh...

Policeman1: Wait. How much do you have.

Neo: me!!!

Neo: I... 

Neo flipped his purse and there were only a few notes of ten! Policemen lost hope.

Policeman1: Give it all.

Neo: But...but...

Iyer: How are we to proceed without any money!

Policeman2: You were on your way to your friend, right. He will take care of you.

Policamen smirked. 

Time- 4:21

Neo: let us move. fast.

Iyer and Neo were only 100 mts from Sathyam and all this incident happened! 

Meanwhile BJ, Dinesh, Mama, Avinesh, Sabbu were on their way in a bus. They were close. Mu2 and Yogu, in their bike, were nearing the theatre! Neo rushed to the ticket counter and.....

Neo: Nine tickets for QGM, please.

The Guy: Sorry sir, we are out. We have only 5 tickets.

Neo: Oh, What about the 19:15 show?

The guy: (Smiling) I was referring to that show ! The tickets to the 1630 show are out for good!



Hell with Rhonda Byrne...Hell with positive energy... 

Tring... tring.....

Time: 16:28

BJ: we are here!!!

Neo: Come slowly, no need to hurry! NO TICKETS!


Mu2, BJ, Dinesh, Mama, Avinesh, Sabbu, Yogu, Vignesh and Neo were all standing in front of the counter trying to decide on what to do! In vain.

Sabbu: Am ready to watch any movie!

Neo: Kaminey!

Yogu: No!

Iyer: I think we can watch KANDHASWAMY!

BJ   :NO

Mu2: NO. (a loud NO!)
Dinesh: NO
Mama: NO

Neo: Is Kandhaswamy really that bad!

BJ  : Watch it if you want to suffer! I'll leave for sure...

Avi : No da.. the movie is so bad... it is worse than....than...

Neo: Attending our lectures !!!

Avi: yeah!

Laughter all around the place....

Sabbu:  What about this movie?

Neo: Which one?

Sabbu:  ICE AGE 3!

Neo: Animation! Am ready...

Mama: Dai.....

Avi: what the hell....ask him again... maybe we can still get the tickets.

Mu2: how many tickets do you have. Of the movie Quick Gun Murgan that is.

The Guy: Five. but they are spread out sir.

Mu2: hmmm....

Yogu was busy staring at something, someone. We all joined him.

BJ : dai... let us try INOX!We have yet another comedy...

Neo: What!

Iyer: I have work. I think I'll leave.

Neo: !!!! You have work! What! What the...

Mu2: INOX... I called INOX.. i think it will again be a disaster... let us try somewhere near.. what say everyone!

Yogu was still busy staring and we again joined him. Sathyam is cool :D

Yogu: look...look... that poster... 

Mu2: We thought you were busy looking at ga...people... never mind...Great...there is a theater called Pilot nearby! n the next show is at 18:50

Mokka:  What?! Pilot... yeah, then we'll have sailors, aircraft, sailors, driver, bus, auto and what not as names of theaters!

Not many smiled. And very few laughed. Mooka has a sense of humour that takes time to understand. Sometimes, we just don't unless he explains...

Sabbu: I want to watch a movie at Sathyam

Iyer: I think I'll leave now and join you guys tomorrow.

Neo: Is the theater air-conditioned?

BJ : Am ready!

Avi: Do you have a bus-stop... it may be late by the time the movie ends?

Iyer: I think am already late!

Neo: Is the theatre air-condiditoned?

Mama: !!!!!!

Mu2: ?????

The gang forgot they were OUTSIDE. Outside college. At Sathyam. Commotion, commotion, commotion. The conversation was so loud that there would have been at least 50 fresh glances in less than 50 seconds ! We deserve to come on TV  :D

Mokka: Why? You people have not been to any theatre other than Sathyam


Neo: I don't know... Pilot sounds funny...

Iyer: Why not Kandhaswamy?

BJ:  Dai... For the millionth time the movie is....forget it!

Iyer is forced to make a call. Meanwhile Mu2, along with Mama, in the search of the theater Pilot, finds it!

Iyer: Hello. Appa... I'll be late. We are planning for a movie. Quick Gun Murgan.


Neo: so....

Iyer: When did I say am not coming!  When is the show!!!!

Neo calls Mu2. 

Neo: Thanks to BJ and Yogu, everyone agreed. All set for Pilot, I say.

What followed was hilarious. The show was at 18:50 and the time was  17:10... BJ was busy cracking jokes. All looked happy. The guys were hungry. It was clear in their faces.

Yogu: Pachi(Machi), let's go Spencer's!

Neo: Why, are you done sighting here ?!

Avi, Iyer, Dinesh burst into laughter. 

Sabbu: yeah...yeah... why not... there is bakery near Sathyam. We'll eat something and then go Sathyam....errr... I mean Spencer's Plaza...

Neo: My legs are aching already... Is it necessary!

Iyer: What are we to do for an hour. Sri.Mithai at Spencers!!!

Neo: Shree Mithai...okay...

Sabbu: Spencers... Spencers...Spencers...

Yogu was still busy....

BJ: We are set for yet another adventure...

With less than two 10-rupess notes, we seven trot to Spencers.TROT !!!
Mu2 and Mama were busy getting the tickets...

Iyer:  errr.... that fatty.... that police... he... he took everything!

Neo: (raised eyebrows) He only took a ten rupee note!

Iyer: You have the money right. Yogu's money that is :)

Neo: Gave the 800 to Mu2 for tickets, etc... and I have 200! I think we have all rights to convert the 200 to 0 

Iyer gives a evil smile. The gang follows. Sabbu looks puzzled. Yogu is scared, still smiling though.

A mini treat at Spencers. Mu2 and Mama join us. Then we make it to the theater called PILOT!

Iyer: You got the tickets!!

Mu2: We have the entire theatre to ourselves...

LOL...ROFL... The guys were so tired that they couldn't complete their laughter.  

Time: 18:40 
In front of the theater

Yogu and Mu2, Mama were fighting over the expenses, and amusing everyone around! The security, the guy at the ticket counter, the guy at the parking area, the countable people waiting for the movie... Smiles all around!

BJ comments... Mokka comments... Yogu is cornered. Mu2 is enjoying every bit of the happenings. Neo and Iyer are amused watching the scene!

BJ: dai...What is the problem.

Mu2: 200...100....50.. that settles!!!

Bj: Moola !!!  Brain-Grain, Moola Mu2!

Yogu blinking ! still blinking! As if someone stole a candy from a baby!

A roar of laughter without Yogu!

Bj: hey yogu, are you questioning Moola's calculating powers! Look at his hair! the antennas are functioning... no trace of wind..  all is well !!!!

Yet another roar of laughter. This time Yogu joined :)

Then the calculation was figured out in a piece of paper, with diagrams, places, persons !

The people around thought we went mad !!!
If only we gave in that much effort for the Mathematics papers in college,... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mama and Mu2 disappeared only to reappear 2 minutes b4 the movie!

Inside the theatre...

All were seated. The theatre was nearly empty... We are present, of course. There were 10 others in pairs. Maybe a little more... but very less...The trailers were so damn funny that....that we had tears laughing!!! The first half of the movie was a little disappointing... BJ saw to it that we enjoyed... His jokes rarely fail... And yes, there was Sabbu with his one-liners.... Sabbu, when in form, can be deadly... Mokka is ALWAYS DEADLY. The second half was just the opposite. Very hilarious. The second half stole the show.

We got QGM syndrome!!!  And were speaking His slang.

Stop staring, I say!

Leave the ladies, I say!

Be original, I say!

A really adventurous day, I say !

I'll get my bike, I say!

Mokkai, I say!

Stop tormenting, I say! 

Go and bath, I say!

Your money is long-forgotten, I say !!

Thank God, we did not watch QGM at Sathyam, I say!!!

Enough 'I say' ,  I say !!!!!

The gang departed...with smiles on their faces. BJ and Neo were waiting for a bus in the wrong bus-stop for thirty minutes !!!  It was nearly 2200 hrs when they reached home!

The gang set out for a movie to Sathyam like warriors on an unexplored land. A quest with a certain amount of ambiguity involved. A thrill... At 1630, we find we are Zeroes from Heroes only to become Heroes again at 20:50 by completing the quest at Pilot. :D

What followed was a torrent of tweets !!!  Everyone kinda enjoyed. 
So, the not-so-well-planned, adventurous day came to an end on a good note...

Cheers friends!

I dedicate this to all the guys in my class. Maybe, ten years later, I'll wind back the clock and read this post and feel all young again :)

Happy reading... 


Neeru said...

I've got tears in my eyes from all the laughing. What a wonderful blog post, Nitin! =)) "Sabbu, when in form, can be deadly. Mokka is ALWAYS DEADLY." Man! WONDERFUL! *applause, wild cheering* You're the best! And you do such a good job at humorous writing :))

V.VIGNESH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
V.VIGNESH said...

Ah..Still couldn forget that idiot who grabbed our money...:(
I should have definitely raised the accelerator more...:)
Fantastic compilation da...

yogesh said...

Great post.All incidents are getting flashed before my eyes.

Blazer said...

daiii :) i think we can direct a movie with us :) wat say ?? a short film may be for the coming techofes :)

Nitin said...

@ neeru This one is for u too... u pushed me to complete it :)

@ Vignesh don't u worry, brother... V'll have our revenge... u ll plan n attack this time!!! get ready to replace the front tyre :D

@ yogesh that is a very sweet thing to say. hope they flash in the future too...

@ Balaj I... I... If u mean it, we'll do it!!! Acting is something our guys are expert in ;)... but then there are so many such comedies... maybe sathyam stories must continue!(UP movie)! Ours is a class where there are so many such instances that it is difficult to select the best ones! Only a few more months left !

@ vignesh why delete a comment! natural comments are want always nice. tell me what you person ;)

You people are wonderful!

undercgem said...

wow..Those moments have been relived in this post machi. The flow of the story was amazing..Go on! and continue writing those tragic comedies that took place in these 4 years..

Nitin said...

@ muthu :D

Shera said...

haha! I remember u tellin this story that night, when you were back home! But never thought it was so adventurous(!)..Well, this will definitely keep you young even after decades!!:P

arun kumar said...

awesome whiteee....
jus went to those moments in a flash....

hope you can write about our grt Yogi and spencer...Spencer hero...the one who walked the whole chennai...mu2 and mokka can give u sequence of incidents...