Then am a DUMMY!

Monday, August 31, 2009
The other day I was reading Michael Crichton's Next, a science fiction. I wish I read more of this author, but hey, better late than never. After turning a few pages my bulb tinged not pertaining to anything in the context of the book but for something totally different. I had considered it a year back when I was down with chickenpox but gave up the idea. Now again, I deeply began to consider the possibilities. What is it that caused me to deeply cogitate again? Let's go on a slow yet not-so-comfortable ride, shall we.

Ever thought of life in the form of "IF" clauses, I bet you have.
If only i did this at that time, then...
If only he asked me to help, ...
If only I gave my 100%, ......
If not ... then ...
If I get a chance in .... else I ll ....
and many more...

No, am not learning C or any of the OOPS languages. There are so many times that we rewind and think of the things that bother(ed) us. But have we ever paused to think over why we actually did something that we weren't supposed to do. Ever had the conception of us being controlled by some alien-force in the same manner as we control characters on video-games ! Am sure you are in a position to conclude that am insane.Wait till I finish.

Here goes. Consider for the sake of a healthy argument that am right. Does it seem so impractical? You can argue that if you were being controlled and have no decision that is yours to make, then how about not following whatever is decided- like kicking the ball with the other foot or missing a bus or denying something that you wouldn't actually deny. My answer is that it is all well-devised,well monitored and even well played. Just like a good computer program, even a reasonable doubt is not left unchecked. Well, there is a very good possibility of us falling into tricky clauses then! Clauses like if we kick the ball with the wrong foot, we fall and bleed or if we miss a bus, we ll have to face bad consequences. Sounds grotesque. Maybe we missed something. Maybe like in our world, there are good programmers and a very large group of poor gamers. And the best trick those programmers pulled is making us believe that our world exist. Time, according to my theory then is just some coveted program. And so is the theory of relativity and so is gravity. And if so I must admit gravity is the best thing that they came up with. Am not talking about the movie Matrix here, though it seems very similar. It is just an analogy. By programming I don't really mean programming. I mean something that is possibly beyond our current understanding. Something that cannot be perceived even if we try to. Something mysterious and incomprehensible. Why am I trying, you ask? I always learn it the hard way.

Are we really dummies then? Are we all part of a big joke? Or is it just one little thought blown out-of-proportions! Another sleepless night. Is it written ? Should I try denying it and sleep? May be it is written that way! May be I am to ponder upon this the whole night and not miss the first hour tomorrow in college.

Take care...

Musings on a Moonless Night

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Pondering over and over, with no words satisfactory, I'll have to write in a random yet pleasing manner yet again. On a blissful night with the wind blowing, a few birds chirping, the sound of all the human-invented, cacophonous machines and their users resting, I wake up to experience what people believe could be experienced only during the early mornings- The beauty of emptiness.

With the positive and already known things said, I move on. It is only during the nights, after almost all souls fall that I start to contemplate on the strangest of things. For the past few months many thoughts have kept creeping up leaving me awake at nights. Not an insomniac yet. The world is moving at a pace so fast, it is almost unfathomable. The population, the fights, the sufferings, the disasters, the pretentious nature of our very men, and such similar thoughts keep bothering me time and again. Did we move much faster then we were supposed to? Must we belong to some other age, stone age for instance? Are we so busy fighting with time that we forget the simplest of things? Are we hurting ourselves every second and waiting for time to stop? Are we that helpless? Are we viruses spreading all over and scared of our existence? Aren't we shouting out aloud for more space? ARE WE REALLY LIVING LIFE? I sound depressing now a days. :)

The sleepless nights help get rid of the nasty dreams. Nasty and dreams don't go hand in hand, do they? But am not speaking of nightmares. How can they be called nightmares when am living them at times. It is a strange feeling. Dejavu is in my list of favourite words, no doubt, but it is a fact of life. I believe in the concept of parallelism; even multiple parallelism. Have you ever waked up to find that you are older than you thought? Yeah, what I mean is being younger in your dream and being your actual self in reality. Now, why are we bothered and at times haunted by nasty dreams. It cannot be cyclic. According to me it is all connected. Some miscalulation ends in dreams. And some major miscalculation ends up revealing a cue of our future.Blurry images like puzzles, the solution of which is only got when we experience it in reality. So next time you land up in any such blurry area, keep your eyes open! Ironic, I guess.Again.

Randomness in thoughts is a way to check the veracity of oneself! From the beauty of emptiness, I land up interpreting the complexity of the concept of dreams. May be not so cogent , but musings are never cogent, are they! Lots more to share.
Guess I'll temporarily stop here.

Unsatisfied with this post :(
I dedicate this to Neeru for only she ll have the patience to read this lame,incoherent and muddled piece.

The Arrogant Ones

Sunday, August 23, 2009
Hundreds of thoughts in my head breaches,
Whenever the dumb teacher teaches
For he never teaches, but preaches,
Thinking of us as mere creatures.

In the memory of ONLY those priests who misguide people on the ways of life. Well, i did have more lines to add but four lines are more than what they deserve. This again is my first post showing a tinge of hatred. I thought i should write it down before it wears off.

The Dark Side of me

Saturday, August 15, 2009
Happiness! The word seemed almost elusive a few years back. I was naive then.Things have changed and so have my perception of the word. I have been longing to write something that inpires me, if not others.Something simple,something we all know and yet forget. A simple collection of thoughts.


It was in the month of september 2004 when I felt very indifferent. Callous would be the best fit. "Why the hell must I care if he lives or dies?" attitude was right at the top. And this continued till the demise of my grandfather. After that certain things changed and change was/is good. I realized that I wasn't an abnormal kiddo after all. It was just the pressure that I entrusted on myself during those two most pathetic years before college.

*Back to reality...
*Back to reality...

Death is strange and painful. The Silence.The monotonous feeling .The feeling of mortality.The fear. Dark clouds all over the head. But can death be blissful! Yes,it can. The suffering endured on earth may be even more than afterlife.Have you ever been down and depressed, felt that everything is running away from you and you inturn wanted a way out? Read on...(Rapid and random thoughts ahead; not for the faint hearted)
At times we think the world is against us and in those moments we are indeed weak,scared and ALONE. And one fine day everything is back to normal, we are happy and have that smile back. The cycle repeats once,twice,many times. After two or three rounds we get used to it and say "COME,WHAT MAY". We start wondering if there really exist any super-power.Is it even worth praying! So then what is happiness? Or for that matter, are we all in the pursuit of happiness?Or is it commonplace and too banal to discuss. Let's find out,shall we.

Happiness,a word has different meanings for different beings. Random thoughts can give a slightly explicit picture. For convinence I would like to use and twist the (happiness) word as i wish,pardon me. Happiness is not permanent ; happiness is when I pour out the secrets to someone sincerely willing to spare his heart and ears; happiness is when I bunk classes and tests and spend memorable time with friends and family at the theatres or on the playgound ; happiness is when I wake up in the morning only to find out that everything is well and my morning tea is hot and ready ;happiness is when I kick some butt in video games; happiness is when we are we and not I ; happiness is and will be what I perceive it to be. Is it really that simple? Yes,my friend,it is. You have every right to smile and laugh and so do I. So next time when people sitting next to you laugh, don't laugh for the sake of laughing! You have every right to BE YOURSELF. What happens if happiness becomes a routinue :) ! Then it is no longer happiness and we go searching for something new.

Some say an optimist is one who sees the positive side of the half-filled glass .Clearly the optimist is one who sees only the good side of life .In that case those some remain satisfied with the minimal possible ,I think. Did i just say that! NO,I scribbled it down :). Why not think like a pessimist all the possible (bad)outcomes and then work towards whatsoever undertaken like an optimist. Ironic !

Is there be a place worse than EARTH! Or can there be a place as divine and green as our mother earth? Confused?Let me conclude by saying that if you are under the conception that earth is heaven and we have to face the (hardrock)music after death somwhere worse, welcome to the Optimist group. :D


IF your head is in terrible pain,am sorry.
Please don't worry;
Watch tom or jerry.
Stop pondering over the above text,
I say this for your best.

The Small,Little Child

Thursday, August 13, 2009

On a cold, deserted night, the clock strikes,
A minute later, the baby cries;
While the father stood by the infant's side,
The news of the little, blessed child,
Spread wide and wide.

Hundreds lost their lives,
Millions all over the green earth sighed;
Many a soldier deceased,
Their lifeless wives died for uncertain peace.
Yet the proud father was filled with joy,
At the sight of his cute, little boy.

The boy grew old,
Oh, so handsome and bold,
And of his mother, he was never ever told;
"Father!Father", the boy cried out loud,
"A terrible thing, don't scold,
Here before you, i do unfold,
That I threw away the family gold!"

The bullion is the least we want,
For you have me and I have you;
And that's why with the gold I flew
And spread them to the lot few;
They had no parents, had no love.
Gold is no answer, but they deserve a better life,
Not that what happened to their father's wives.

The child is big and now so true,
He still has the charm and his eyes so blue;
For now he has no more fear,
As he sees his father's happy tears;
He is still the same old, small, little child,
And now, forever, he stays by his father's side.

Love is NOT in the air!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Hello friends,

I have, if not always, eighty out of hundred times made a mockery of the scenes wherein the blue-eyed guy throws verbose lines at the girl draped in pink. Pure gibberish, i surmised. Ever heard of a boomerang effect! Yeah,boomerang.Unfortunately, i fell for all those superfluous verses after reading a few posts on a friend's blog. Well, words do have power and we cannot deny that fact. Hence i thought why not pen some lines that sound romantic in tune and are in rhythm. And romantic i shall be. Not an easy task for someone who isn't committed. But by no means a tough task for someone who has watched tons of (bollywood) movies :)
The following lines are as childish as they can possibly be. Lots of laughs.

Just as the sun shines in the noon
Just as the mother awaits her son to return soon,
I stare hours at the empty lonely moon,
Thinking of you,a boon.

Waiting for an answer,waiting for your answer.

I ain't no bold Lochinvar,
I ain't no big bright star,
Neither am I the guy with a big scar,

Yet am waiting for an answer

Waiting for your answer.

Wish I were the mighty Hercules,
Wish I were the fearless Achilles,
Tall and strong,
With whom you can travel along;

Watching you has been such a bliss,

Life will be complete with that one little kiss.
Waiting for your answer,

Only for your answer.